Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
My moment in the sun.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.