What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Give me some pigskin
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.