The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
By the seat of one’s punt
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!