As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
All punts are highly intended
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Give me some pigskin
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Case in punt
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
The huddle is real
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.