I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Calm before the score
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
Summer is just floating by.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Case in punt
Get in the swim this summer.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.