Staying humble thanks to that fumble
We’re calling your number.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
For instant fun, just add water.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.