Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
My moment in the sun.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"