Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.