Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Beauty is only pig skin deep