[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
By the seat of one’s punt
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.