Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
The calm before the score
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.