My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Calm before the score
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
Summer is just floating by.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
I like your tight end
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
