I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
By the seat of one’s punt
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Join us for plenty of play action.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Football is one habit I will never kick
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.