What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Football is one habit I will never kick
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
The huddle is real
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?