I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.