I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Having a ball
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?