What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.