Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.