There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.