What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.