Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.