What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.