Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr