Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!