Shell-abrate the good times!
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
I love you so fairy much.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
We were mermaid for each other.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.