Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
You are shrimply the best!
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Go big or go gnome.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
We were mermaid for each other.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!