What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
You seem a little mer-mad.
Wish upon a starfish.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Long time no sea.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
Go big or go gnome.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
