What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Call me on the shellphone.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Wish upon a starfish.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
You mermake me happy.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."