No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
I love you so fairy much.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
You seem a little mer-mad.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
You really mermaid my day.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.