No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
You really mermaid my day.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
I have a bone to pixie with you.