What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.