What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!