Monster Puns

These hilarious monster puns are SPOOK-tacular!

Monster Puns

Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!