What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.