Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.