How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
Live to tell the tail.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.