What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Live to tell the tail.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Witch you were here.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.