Monster Puns

These hilarious monster puns are SPOOK-tacular!

Monster Puns

What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.