What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.