Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!