What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.