Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Live to tell the tail.