Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.