Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?