Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.