Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.