Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!