The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Live to tell the tail.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!