What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.