What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.