There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!