Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

You're quite the catch, baby.
If you were a puck, I'd never shoot. Because I would always miss you.
Your beauty is a singularity. The force of attraction between us is so powerful.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Are you a lover of magic tricks? Pass me a paper and watch my number appear on it.
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
Roses are red, potatoes are brown; you are my favorite spud in the whole town!
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
You make my heart slip 'n slide.
Me without you is like a nerd without braces,
A shoe without laces,
ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
Your name must be Candy- cuz you look so sweet.
I’ve never seen stars as beautiful as your eyes.
Hi, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
The way you wear that sarong, it should be called a saright.
Baby, meeting you was better than an NHL lockout ending.
Do you have any Sriracha sauce? Cause you fire me up!
Your heart stops when you sneeze. Kind of like what happens when I think of you.
You feel like that old book tucked away in a corner – one look at it still makes my heart skip a beat.
Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by.
You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things. Eating.
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
You're embarrassed by my dense pickup lines? OK, I won't continuum. I'll be more discrete.
Can you tell me the oxidation state of this atom? If you can’t, then you can tell me your phone number instead?
You’re the gravy to my turkey.
I know we just met, but will you marinade me?
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
I'm having a sale in my bedroom. My clothes are 100% off.
I'll feel more comfortable sleeping at night once I have your number.
You’re so pharma-cute-ical!
Could I have your name and number for my prayer list?
If I were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
I'm going to start watching my caffeine intake because baby you make my heart palpitate.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Is your name chocolate, because you make my seratonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure.
Have you been to the doctor's lately? Cause I think you're lacking some vitamin me.
Would you like to come over for tea and crumpets?
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
You are as cute and cuddly as a Koala.
Can’t Lucy how perfect a date with me could be?
I use homemade pumpkin spice. Would you like to try some?
I'm sorry I had an accident...
I slipped and fell right into your heart.
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
How about you and I form a binary system?
I’m like the smell of chlorine – I’ll never leave you.
I'd got to bat for you, babe.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?