Let’s act like we’re a couple of colonists and do a few intolerable acts together.
The Tsar Bomba, the most powerful nuclear explosive in recorded history, has an output of 57 megatons of TNT
And that pales in comparison to how much of a bombshell you are.
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
Would you allow me Du-bai you a drink?
We can share my yoga mat so we can become one.
You're such a TEAse.
You’re so beautiful, you make me feel like an arpeggiated chord… broken.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
The square root of all my fantasies is you.
I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate but hey! There you are in front of me.
Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious.
Wow, two teaspoons? Lucky for you, I’m a pretty good spooner myself.
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.
How hot does your gas oven get?
Hello, allow me to hi-Jack this conversation
Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Do you want to be my lab partner? I think we could have some great chemistry together.
You should go in the water, cuz you're so hot you're on fire!
Are you a lateral pterygoid because you make my jaw drop.
If you were a function, then you’d be my asymptote ’cause I always tend toward you!
If you were a puck, I'd never shoot. Because I would always miss you.
I have a connection to make, but first I want to connect with you.
My name is Romeo, will you be my Juliet?
You remind me of cheese... I want you on everything!
I'm on a hunt - for your number.
Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes.
Hi, my name's Pogo. Wanna ride on my stick?
Do you know what they say about hockey players? They can always find the opening!
My love for you is like a Trojan Horse, it’ll sneak up on you when you least expect it.
Baby, you can drive my car if we let it be.
When you're around, every mall is a sky mall.
I Got to Get You Into My Life
Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Did I Elijah’st fall in love?
I am a chemist. Want to get together and see the reaction?
According to the multiverse theory, there’s at least one universe where we end up together. Do you want this universe to be one of them?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a kiss if you open the door.
Want to become my new personal best?
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
I'm glad there's freedom of religion because I worship you.
I smelled you down the street, and my nose brought me right to you.
How about a kanga-root?
You are so cute, you’ve Lily got me hooked
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
When I text you goodnight later, what number should I use?
I don't mean to brag, but I'm one of the fastest speed-readers in the tri-county area.
I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up. You must've been made by Intel to be that hot!