Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eva.
Eva who?
Eva been asked out via knock knock joke before…?
Were you arrested today? It must be illegal to look so beautiful.
Here is my libary card, because im checking you out.
I bet you’re really flexible.
I'm at my best during overtime.
Want to break the wishbone? I’m wishing for a date with you.
You don't need to waste your time on that treadmill, you've been running through my mind all day.
When this planet is invaded by the aliens, I’d still hold your hand.
Whoever said that chunky-knit sweater coats were ugly is both a fool and a liar.
You’ve got more curves than a cross country track.
I don't need Christmas lights, you're already shining so bright.
Girl, you can kiss heaven goodbye because it's got to be a sin to look that good.
Hey, how’ve you Ben?
Hey there cyclist, I'll be your mechanic if you'll be my ride.
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
Are you made of apples? Cause you sure look sweet as pie.
We seem to be into a lot of the same things, dogs included. We should get together sometime and see what we unleash.
Is your vocal range tenor? Because if there were tenor (ten of) you Iwould be very happy.
Wow, Charlotte, your name should definitely be Char-hot.
How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice!
Football players get cheerleaders, but hockey players bring them home.
Daniel? More like Daaammnnn-iel
I’m thinking about buying a new phone because this crappy one doesn’t have your number in it.
There's some cabanossi and cheese back at my house with ya name on it.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.
I heard kissing is the language of love so...
Do you wanna start a conversation?
I love all of your stratified layers!
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit?
"We gotta get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini."
- Jay Chandrasekhar, Beerfest (2006)
"My name is Khan, please sit and entertain me."
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Just shooting my shot here, because you look so good. Hope it lands, but I guess Wesley..
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Are you the World Cup? ‘Cause I get excited just waiting for you.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Did you just swallow a magnet? Because I’m so attracted to you right now.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
I'm glad there's freedom of religion because I worship you.
Well I can’t Eli to you, you’re pretty cute
I’m feeling a little blue, do you think you could help al-Levi-ate my pain with a good date?
Here's a raisin. Sorry if it is not enough but I can give you a date on Saturday.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Honeydew.
Honeydew who?

Honeydew know who fine you're looking?
(give a dozen plastic roses) "I'll stop loving you, when these roses die.
Hey how’s it going? Ben jammin’ much today?
Do you know the Tango? Because you're dancing away with my heart.
Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
The ref better give me 2 for hooking, 'cause baby I'm hooked on you.
"I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination."
- Gossip Girl