Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Tonight, I’m on a hunt for your number.
Wow, you feel like a comet, you are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. Can I buy you a drink?
Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together."
Woman: "They got it right the first time with the N and O."
Would you describe yourself as a ternary? Because you have a lovely form.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Do you like interjections? YES? NO! GOOD!
I'm at my best during overtime.
Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
You like curling? Check out me curling my biceps!
I'm not a snowman, but woman, you make my heart melt.
Hey girl. Feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of? Husband material.
"So… Do you like cheese?"
- Duke, She’s The Man (2006)
I just want to take you out to brunch and shower you with quiches.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
Are you French? I want to take a french kiss from you.
Are you heading to India? 'Cause I'd Goa anywhere with you!
Girl, if we were lymphocytes, you’d be a natural killer.
I now believe in Angels.
If you were a tree, you’d be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
My friends have been calling me a loon, because I'm crazy about you.
"You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."
- Clark Gable, Gone with the Wind (1939)
You’re so beautiful even the leaves fall for you.
I came here looking for a little tail.
You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
You look like the morning sun after a long night of darkness.
Why do I want raisins when you are my only grape? Let's have some wine.
I froze some raspberries last summer. You're hot enough to defrost them.
Can I borrow your library card? Cause I’m checking you out.
You're such a TEAse.
You elevate checking out to a mystical event worthy only of gods and champions.
Your name must be Candy- cuz you look so sweet.
Every time I think about you, my heart’s tempo shifts from adagio to allegro.
I’m more interested in you than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Are you Spotify? Cause I can listen to you all day.
I think I might become an astronomer because I’m very fascinated with Uranus
Hi, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
I’d love to spend some time Matthew
Wow, two teaspoons? Lucky for you, I’m a pretty good spooner myself.
Yo baby, you want to see me solve a quadratic?
Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh, wait, wrong store!
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Hey, baby, you’re not Paradise Lost, you’re Paradise Regained.
You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.